Diabolik Lovers Episode 9: “Women are terrifying.”

diabolik loversShuu’s right: Yui = true terror.

Continuing where we’ve left off, we get some random creepy vampire dude narrating some clearly DRAMATIC FORESHADOWING DIALOGUE.

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While he’s narrating, the camera pans over to Yui. She’s sleeping soundly, unaware that DRAMATIC FORESHADOWING DIALOGUE is being read aloud at some undisclosed location.

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Wait. Did he just say Cordelia? COULD THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE LONG FLASHBACK ABOUT HER DEATH IN THE LAST EPISODE, AND YUI’S VISIONS SURROUNDING HER PAST?!

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Right on cue, Yui awakens right away in response to the DRAMATIC FORESHADOWING DIALOGUE with weird chest pains.

I’m just going to go out on a limb here and predict the plot for the rest of the series. I bet that somehow Yui’s heart has been replaced with Cordelia’s (with absolutely no scarring), and that she’s some vessel who will serve as Cordelia’s new body. Her random hallucinations and chest pains are because she’s slowly being taken over by Cordelia’s personality. This is also why her blood tastes so sweet to the siblings – nothing tastes sweeter than incestuous mother blood! (Gotta love mommy issues.) Cordelia’s going to return, the siblings are going to be all “omg mommy let me display repressed sexual urges and also clear signs of maternal abuse” and she’ll be all like “one at a time boys”  and then Ayato will feel sorry for Yui and his intense love will bring Yui back and together they’ll somehow crush Cordelia with the power of true love. THE END. <3

But let’s not get TOO far ahead of ourselves. After Yui wakes up, she randomly decides to go on a walk around the grounds to some crypt.

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If you’re as confused as I am, that’s fine, because I’ve never seen this crypt thing before and it comes out of nowhere. It’s also full of bats, which randomly harass Yui for several seconds while she moans in fear. Emphasis on the several – you can never have enough of Yui moaning in fear. Because that shit is annoying hot.

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Then, someone calls out from inside the building telling her to be quiet. Turns out Shuu is just chilling inside, reading a random book being hot.

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As the mighty fine gentleman he is (remember how nice he was back in like episode 2 when he abused Yui in the bathtub!), he follows up on his request for silence with an inquiry into the current state of her condition.

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While not even looking at her or pretending to care in the slightest, of course. That would betray his true feelings of undying affections towards her.

Yui of course proceeds to tell him that she’s been feeling a little bit off recently.

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She elaborates that she hasn’t felt quite herself recently, and confides in him that she’s been hearing the “voice of a women who’s not there” and feeling generally unsteady on her feet (OMG CORDELIAAAAAA).

Shuu responds immediately, offering her his comfort.

Screenshot 2014-01-21 19.35.20Awwwwwww.

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Wait wait. What.

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Oh god.

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Ohhhhhh – something’s up! Is this overarching plot I smell?!

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Wait a second…didn’t you just tell her that?

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Oh Shuu you animal – such naughty language! Any more and you’ll have both me and Yui eating out of the palm of your hand! (Also lol at the small TL error.)

Yui is understandably terrified (although we all know by now she’s just secretly an SM fetishist who loves being abused and having her bodily fluids forcibly violated by hot vampires).

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Following Kanato’s impressive investigative abilities in the previous episode, we also learn that Shuu too possesses incredibly powerful abilities of deduction.

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This man should be a doctor.

What follows is another intensely passionate scene.

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MAI HAATO. I can’t take much more of all these feels. (Yui’s probably can’t either, but that’s besides the point.)

Shuu then delivers an incredibly arousing and passionate speech that epitomizes the intricacies of the feminine condition. (Possible trigger warning.)

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It’s now official – Yui wanted it, and she was just tempting him.

We then get some more plot, aided by flashback.

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Ah – I’d almost forgotten the whole “chichinaishi” was a thing. Thanks for reminding me Ayato!

Then creepy onlooker dude just shows up.

Screenshot 2014-01-21 19.41.02Who’s he supposed to be again?

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Oh right! He’s Richter, the Sakamaki siblings’ uncle! Who was romancing their mother.

Hold on a second…

TOO MUCH WINCEST FOR ME PLX STAHP GUYS.

Shuu quickly packs up and leaves, so that Richter can talk to Yui alone. She asks him to finally give her some answers (you go girl!) as to why she was chosen to be a “sacrificial bride”…

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To which he responds by insulting her and telling her to CHECK HER PRIVILEGE.

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Hhmpf. Mortals.

Yui is of course relieved.

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After which she collapses in another sudden bout of chest pain.

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WHICH IS WHAT RICHTER WANTED.

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After Yui falls into her weird trance-like state, Richter leads her back up to the attic, where he reveals that all the stuff relating to her father was a complete lie simply intended to dissuade her from running away. So Yui’s courage played right into his hands.

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KEIKAKU DOOOOORRRIIIIIIII BITCHES.

Richter then leads Yui down the secret passageway behind the bookshelf…

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Below, it turns out there’s a secret room dedicated to Cordelia’s dress, which seems to not only be clean, but fully decked out and permanently lit (of course). Richter then commands Yui to touch the dress and claim what is rightfully hers.

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OMG NO YUI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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After she touches the dress, Cordelia takes over Yui’s body. Richter is overjoyed, for HIS SISTER-LOVER HAS FINALLY RETURNED!

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Cordelia marks the occasion by breaking out the ojou-sama condescending laugh.

Screenshot 2014-01-21 19.52.1110/10.

BUT SUCH A DRAMATIC RETURN CANNOT BE MARKED BY SUCH A SIMPLE LAUGH. CUE BLOOD RED MOON.

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CUE DRAMATIC CLOSEUPS.

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CUE CLOSEUP OF YUI’S ROSARY.

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END EPISODE ON DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER. END POST IN ALL CAPS.

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